Curvy Women: Ugly Duckling Syndrome


Curvy Women

“Ugly Duckling Syndrome” 



     Just read this book that just set my heart on fire.  I know why God gives you ribs to hold your heart.  Because when your heart feels overwhelmed or like it just wants to burst the ribs are there to cage it in.  This book was about a girl who was asked by a man who granted at the time was getting ready to use her for his own gain but…still.  He asked her to allow him to be his personal trainer, so she could get her true love that he sees her eyeing every day, to not lose weight but to condition her body to make her better, healthier and fit with no scales involved.
     But what this guy refused to see, as well as all those around her, was that each time they did that they were slowly killing her spirit.  So, she worked and she worked and she worked some more.  But the man she wanted only saw the new clothes, the straightened hair and the makeup.  You see she had been there all along and she had originally been his best friend back when they were both nerds.  Before he grew into this jock god and left her behind and then dates the one beautiful girl that could and did rip her heart to shreds, her sister.  So, her she sat a make believe thin girl in a fat girl's mind looking for the one who saw her, the Ugly Duckling, before she turned into the swan.
     It started me thinking.  How often do we do just that?  Do we lose weight, gain weight, straighten our hair, curl our hair, makeup, no makeup, and the list can go on.  All for the sake of someone or many someone’s out there.  When really we should be getting fit and healthy for us.  Not for anyone else not even our husband, wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend.  We have to stop looking at others and making judgements about how or what they should be.  Because in the end we all die, we all turn to dust and it really doesn’t matter when we hit the pearly gates.
     All my life I wanted to be thinner.  Yet, now I am a good 30+ pounds thinner than I was in Junior High & High School (from 6th-12th ) weighed the same.  It’s not about the scale now.  It’s about my health.  I had to get extremely ill to get to this point and now the after effects suck.  So, not recommended. Fuck Thyroid Cancer! Just want you to see the person within the next time you feel it’s your responsibility to tell an overweight person how to live.  Ask them if they are close to you how they are feeling and if they would like to start walking with you (saying don’t worry we’ll start off slow.) 
     No fat person wants to be fat.  They don’t get up every morning saying how many calories do I need to consume in order to maintain or gain more weight?  Really?  Come one now.  It is hard to lose weight I can tell you that for a fact because I had to have weight loss surgery.  I lost a person.  I for sure am not promoting being fat because it can be lonely for some I know it can be painful for sure.  Teased by guys and there were a few girls but nothing bad.  Embarrassing yes.  Hurtful yes.  Yet, it has helped me to guide my daughter to better her eating habits and to have a much better outlook of the world as a whole but her body image is beyond what I could have ever have hoped for myself. Not to mention to be able to have forums like this one to share my thoughts and hope that it helps some of you.
     Thanks for stopping by and I am so sorry it has been so long since I have made an entry.  I have been really trying to be a good girl and catching up on my “To Be Read” list.
Till next time,

Char  



HEARTBREAK COVE: (Sanctuary Island #3)

HEARTBREAK COVE                                 LILY EVERETT
Posted:  June 22, 2015

Heartbreak Cove (Sanctuary Island, #3)Sheriff Andie Shepard may be new to Sanctuary Island, but, like everyone else who comes here, she’s already fallen under its healing spell. Andie is determined to leave her mistakes behind her and make this scenic haven her home. But she just might have to change her plans—as well as open her heart—when an unexpected visitor shows up on her doorstep…

Caitlin is the ten-year-old niece Andie never knew she had. Silent, wary, and shy as can be, Caitlin only responds to the horses that run wild across the island. Andie has no idea how to deal with Caitlin—until Sam Brennan enters the picture. A tall, handsome loner who rehabilitates abused horses, Sam is able to help Caitlin break out of her shell. But that’s not all: He finds a way to touch something deep in Andie’s heart, opening her up to the healing power of love. Together, these three lost souls must face the darkness in their past to build a brighter future. Because here, on Sanctuary Island, anything is possible…
 

HUBBY'S REVIEW:
A story that takes place on an island that you need to take a ferry to get to. The sheriff is female named Andie Shepard and she is there working on putting her life back in order with no distractions. Her first one is a call from her brother before he is deployed about having a daughter he did not know about and he needs her to take care of her until he gets back. Her mother passed away and he did not know about his daughter until a few days ago. She agrees but when she arrives neither one know how to act around each other and she does find her a sitter at a ranch while she is at work. Her other problem is Sam Brennan who has arrived on the island with a horse but for some reason she feels there are more going on to him than he is letting on. He is rehabilitates abused horses as a he is working at his cousins ranch the same one that Catlin is at it turns out that he lets her help him with the horse and slowly she is coming out of her shell. The three of them all have separate issues to work out but because of the horse it seems to bring them all together so they can each help the other one to fix what is broken on the inside. At least start to fix, and to trust again. This is a fun fast paced book with strong characters and a fast read. I got this book from net galley.  I give this 4 stars.

BREAKING CLEAR (FULL HEARTS #3)

BREAKING CLEAR #3                                 MJ SUMMERS
Posted:  June 22, 2015

Breaking Clear (Full Hearts, #3)Clever. Steamy. Inspiring.

Harper Young is a talented, feisty art director at Style Magazine. Sitting at her desk one Tuesday morning she answers a call that will forever change the well-worn path of her life. Her father has had an accident and needs Harper to leave Manhattan to go home to Boulder, Colorado to care for him. Given an ultimatum by her heartless boss, she chooses family, leaving her career behind. She drives across the country to find that the only man to make her heart ache with desire will be her new neighbour.

Evan Donovan is a contractor who's been dealt a rough hand when it comes to love. His wife, Lisa, left him just as the recession forced him to shut down his home building company. Now after three years of rebuilding, he is finally getting back on his feet again. When Harper drops back into his life, he does his level best to keep things on a 'just friends' level. Her older brother, Evan's best friend, won't take kindly to Evan dating Harper.

Proving that old flames are easily relit, Harper and Evan quickly find themselves in each other's arms. But will Harper's career come calling her back to New York when her father has recovered? Will a man whose heart has been snapped in pieces learn to trust again?

Lose yourself in Harper and Evan's romantic journey as they fight for their forever.

HUBBY'S REVIEW:
This is the third book of the series and this one involves Harper Young. She must leave her job for a while at Style magazine because her father is injured at work and they don’t know if he will be able to walk again. Her two older brothers are nowhere near so it is up to her to get back to Boulder. After seeing her father in the hospital she decides to go the house to rest but realizes that there is no water. After going to a neighbors she finds herself locked out as she is climbing over the fence she gets stuck and hears a voice from the past Evan Donovan. The boy she always had a crush on and was hoping that he was bald and had a belly, but when he caught her failing from the fence she knew he did not and she realized that her robe opened up and he was now looking at her goods and smiling. After turning on the water for her he went back to his house and then for the next few weeks that was okay until they decided to do the friends with benefits plan. She was still planning on going back to New York when her father got better and he was not looking for a relationship being divorced. But as the story goes they were good for each other and she would go to his construction site with lunch and just show up to talk to him after all of his employees left for the day. She does go back to New York but ends up quitting because she needs more time off and her boss as she put had Botox injected into her heart instead of her lips. Their relationship heats up but neither of them wants to make it more, but she wants him to tell her he does and she would not be looking for any more jobs in New York. She does take a job back with her old magazine when a lot of the staff get fired and she wants him to tell her to stay but instead he tells her the most hurtful thing to her. Her mother ran off with a student when she was younger and she is always being compared to her, but he never did until that night. She left the next day, she does come back for good but not for him but for herself and decides to buy a place and live there. When he finds out he is stun, but she ignores him as much as possible. The only problem have with this story is the things he said to her and the mean spirited way in which they were said. I know it is just a story but as a father I would not want my daughter to put up with his words. It is one thing to forgive but the character intently said those words to be hurtful and mean and knew what the effect they would have on her after though out the story he told her don’t listen to people when they say those things. Other than that I really liked the book. I got this book from net galley.  I give this 4 stars.

BREAKING LOVE (Full Hearts #2)

BREAKING LOVE #2                                   MJ SUMMERS
Posted:  June 22, 2015

Breaking Love (Full Hearts, #2)Seductive. Heartwarming. Passionate.

MJ is at it again! She's cooking up another steamy romance for your reading pleasure.

Luc Chevalier is a satisfied man – or so he thinks. His businesses are thriving, he has all the excitement, money and beautiful women any man could want. He dines at the best restaurants and stays at the most luxurious hotels as he makes his way around the globe. So why does he suddenly find himself so restless?

Megan Sullivan is a single mom with a rather ordinary life. She is comfortable with things just the way they are. She has a six-year-old son, Elliott, a cozy house in Boulder, Colorado, and a photography business to put food on the table. Her ex lives hours away in Florida, providing enough space for him to feed his drug addiction without exposing Elliott to his father's illness. Megan is on her own and she intends to keep it that way.

Megan is convinced by her best friend to take a trip to Paris for a few days. Little does she know she is about to be thrust into the arms of Luc Chevalier, the sexiest man to ever set foot on the Eiffel Tower. They agree to one night together and no more. In those few short hours he manages to draw out the passionate woman that Megan has carefully hidden way for years. Once she has a taste of what she's been missing, she finds it almost impossible to go back to her life as it was.

Will two people who don't believe in happily-ever-after manage to put aside their doubts and find their forever?
Join Luc as he discovers that everything he never wanted is the only thing he will ever need.
 

HUBBY'S REVIEW:
This is a story about a single mom who is raising her six year old son Elliot, from her former marriage to a baseball player who made to the bigs and then got hurt. After trying to come back she found out that he was addicted to pain medication and before she lost all of their money she sold their big home in Atlanta, got a divorce and moved to Boulder Colorado, to be close to family and friends. She also started a photography business, and her ex is now living in Florida going to a 12 step program. She gets a call one night from her best friend who is now an art director for style magazine about going with her to Paris for five days and her friend has already worked everything out with her mom and got her air fare. Once she arrives they go to the Paris office and one of the assistants helps her picks out some outfits and a couple of hand bags. The two of them go shopping for shoes and other essentials later. That night they go to a club where the staff of the magazine is having a party and their she meets the owner Luc Chevalier. That night he gives them a ride back to their hotel but nothing happens. The next day because of weather they end up back at the club to do the photo shot. Their she runs into Luc again and he takes them both out to lunch but her friend leaves them there. She decides to have a one night stand with him even though they are attracted to each other. When she gets back to her hotel she realizes that she forgot her cell phone and has to go back. Once their she runs into his assistant who puts her down and when she leaves and runs into him she wants nothing more to do with him. Once she tells him what happens he does nothing about his assistant. By the time she gets back home she still thinks about him but knows they have nothing in common. After a few weeks he comes to America and goes to one of his clubs in Aspen and then decides to show up in Boulder. Turns out he just happened to walk in when she was doing a wedding photos there. They plan to spend time together and all goes well until her mom gets ill one night watching Elliot. Now as he takes her to the hospital her secret is out but it seems to all work out. It does until weeks go by and he has to back to France and she finds out that she is pregnant and because his assistant deletes the e mail she figures he wants nothing to do with them anymore. When her friend Harper finds out she calls him and rips into him. He is confused and when he starts putting everything together he realizes what has happen. Now not only must he try to get her back but can she love again. Both of them have to work things out which makes for quit an exciting last part of the book. This book is full of emotion and the characters are well thought out. A good story. I got this book from net galley.  I give this 5 stars.

BREAK IN TWO (FULL HEARTS #1)

BREAK IN TWO                                          MJ SUMMERS
Posted:  June 22, 2015

Break In Two (Full Hearts, #1)Thirty-one year old Claire Hatley is running from Seattle having just discovered that her live-in boyfriend has traded her in for a twenty-two year old hostess. Devastated and alone Claire must make a fresh start. She answers an ad for a chef at a guest ranch just outside Colorado Springs and finds herself face to face with Cole Mitchell, quite possibly the sexiest man to ever ride a horse. Common sense tells them to stay away from each other, but their attraction is not to be denied. He gives her a glimpse of what love should be, but just as she starts to trust him, the past comes back to tear them apart.

Join Claire and Cole as they embark on the stormy love affair of a lifetime.

(Oh...and for those of you with husbands/boyfriends, please tell them “you’re welcome” from MJ.)
 

HUBBY'S REVIEW:
This story finds Clarie Hartley, she left Seattle because her live in boyfriend has been cheating on her with a 22 year old. She takes a job as a chief in Colorado Springs at a ranch and once there she finds herself attracted to one of the owners, a Cole Mitchell. He is attracted to her also but they do not react on these feelings for a while but when they do they explode for both of them. He finds out that she likes a lot of the same things as he does and helps him with new ideas for the ranch in order to get more guests in the off season. Everything is going good until an ex of his shows up and has baby saying the baby is his. Clarie and Cole argue because he accepts the word of the ex without getting a paternity test and so after a few weeks a one fight she leaves for London where her sister lives with her husband. The two of them are miserable but don’t talk and the ex thinks they are going to get back together because of the child. By the time you are getting to the end you are getting a feel for the true colors of the ex and wondering if they can get back together. I will say this this always get the test. A good story with a lot of up and downs. I got this book from net galley.  I give this 4 stars.

HOMEFRONT #1

HOMEFRONT                                                  JESSICA SCOTT
Posted:  June 22, 2015

Homefront (Homefront, #1)He's always loved her...
First Sergeant Gale Sorren waited a war and half a lifetime for a chance to get stationed near the ex-wife who left him years ago. When he finally musters the courage to see her, the life he imagined she was living was nothing close to the reality.
She's never stopped loving him...
Melanie never stopped worrying about Gale each time he headed off to war. But he's never been there when she needed him and she's had fifteen years to steel her heart against him.
But when Gale moves to Fort Hood, he finally has a chance to make things right with Melanie and the daughter she raised without him.
Can Mel trust her heart to a man who has always let her down?
Books in the Homefront Series
Book 1: Homefront
Book 2: After the War
Book 3: Face the Fire 
And don't miss the Coming Home Series
Book .5: I'll Be Home for Christmas
Book 1: Because of You
Book 1.5: Anything for You
Book 2: Back to You
Book 3: Until There Was You
Book 4: All for You
Book 5: It's Always Been You
Book 5.5: All I Want for Christmas Is You
HUBBY'S REVIEW:
Gale Sorren is a First Sergeant now stationed at FT. Hood. His problem is that he is now close to his ex-wife and daughter who he really has not spent any time with. His ex-Melanie was and still does think about him and worries when he gets deployed but always felt that he was never there for her for an incident with their daughter and she needed him but did not request him to come home and since they were divorced he was not allowed to leave. He is lucky that he is still in the Army after that night and now it has come time to grow up and help his wife. It still takes him weeks to show up at her place to let her know that his their; stationed at Ft. Hood and she realizes when she sees him that he has aged from the time when they first got together at 17 but now he is a man. He asked her to help him to become a parent to their daughter and he apologies for the past for all of the mistakes he made and at the same time they repair their relationship after finding out that they still love each other. While this is going on he is still trying to get use to the Captain and some of the other Sgt. He does end up running into a problem with the one Sergeant who helped save his career years ago and now he is trying to save him. I also like how they slowly work back together as a couple and how his ex takes the bedroom door off the daughter’s room because she is not going to school. Gale also catches a boy in her room and that also bring him and his ex-closer along with a health scare that he has towards the end of the book. I was waiting for Gale’s character to open up a little more about his childhood about the violence but maybe Melanie knew about it. I thought it might have answered some of the questions they were always coming back to. Overall a good book. I got this book from net galley.  I give this 4 stars.

AFTER THE WAR #2

AFTER THE WAR                                        JESSICA SCOTT
Posted:  June 22, 2015

After the War (Homefront, #2)A terrible loss…

Captain Sarah Anders lost her husband to the Iraq war and has nearly lost the career she loves. Sent to Fort Hood, she only wants to do her job and take care of the daughter she’s raising on her own. She never counted on running straight into a memory she’d tried to forget. 

A love he never forgot...

Captain Sean Nichols never got over Sarah. He simply tried to forget her amidst the war and the chaos of combat. But when she’s assigned to investigate his unit, he comes face to face with the woman no war or any amount of time could make him forget. 

A dark secret…

As Sarah gets closer to the truth, Sean must accept that actions he took during the war may end the tentative love building between them. And even if Sarah can forgive him, Sean may never be able to forgive himself.

HUBBY'S REVIEW:
This story has two former lovers meeting many years later. They are both Captains now and when they were dating many years before he was taking a promotion to Sergeant and wanting her to leave the Army to marry him and follow him to Korea. She said no and now she has been assigned to investigate his unit. They are both shocked to see one another and him especially when he finds out by her last name that she was married. He had actually served with her husband in Iraq and was in the vehicle behind his when they were being attacked. He saw her husband die but did not know it at the time. He also finds out that she has a five year old daughter that she did not know she was pregnant with until she got the notice of her husband’s death. So the story goes along and she is trying to save her career from the Major who does not like single mothers in the military though she is a women herself. She realizes that she is still attracted to Captain Sean Nichols, who is trying to win her back and let her know that he was wrong and stupid when he was younger. Captain Sarah Anders, is wanting to get back together with him because she is surprised how not only is she reacting to him but also her daughter and how he likes being around them. He actually tells her about Iraq and her husband and he helps her in the investigation of his own unit. All of this leads to a very emotional story that I could not put down until I got to the end. Once again she has done a great job with the characters and with the story. An excellent book. I got this book from net galley.   I give this 5 stars.

ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS #1

ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS #1                            SJ HOOKS
Posted:  June 22, 2015

Absolute Beginners (Absolute, #1)Professor Stephen Worthington's life makes perfect sense. 

He teaches classes on Tuesdays and Fridays. He has dinners with his parents on the weekend. He goes to the gym with his comically crass stepbrother, Matt, a few days each week. And every night, he heads home at a reasonable hour, alone.

There’s only one thorn in Stephen’s perfectly organized side: Ms. Julia Wilde. Never has Stephen dealt with a more unruly student. She’s rude, provocative, infuriating—and she dresses in a way that is completely unbecoming for a lady. Stephen can’t wait for the semester to be over, and then he’ll never have to see her again.

That is, until Stephen finds himself out of the classroom and in Julia's apartment. Suddenly, the student/teacher roles are reversed, and the professor receives a much-needed lesson between the sheets. Stephen thought his life made sense, but after his tryst with Julia, he finds himself changed in more ways than one. Maybe he’s coming down with something.

Or maybe, something a little out of the ordinary is exactly what this stuffy professor needs to really live.

*This novel contains mature content*
 

HUBBY'S REVIEW:
This book is a different take on student teacher. Stephen Worthington, is an English professor and 33 years old. He lives a very structured life, of work, gym, home to grade papers, sleep, do it again the next day. He changes routine for his step brother even though he doesn’t know why he still must put step in front because they have been brothers for over 20 years. He also changes to go to his mother’s and step father’s home for the occasional dinner. Julia Wilde, is a student in his class who is the total opposite of him. She dresses modern, is late, does not raise her hand to speak but when she does talk it always has a meaning, and she sits in front of the class and is driving him crazy. After talking about her to his brother for weeks he does not want to do anything because of the professor student rule of not dating. Then by chance one night they are outside of the bar that his brother owns and she needs a ride. He gives her one and then she invites him up and then after some talking and finding out that she has traveled to Europe and many other countries she begins to get frisky. He is nervous and then she finds out that he is not that experienced they proceed on a quest of exploring and he is opening up his mind to a whole new experience. She does not do dating so this goes on for months, but slowly they are getting closer together without realizing it. The story goes along and then one night he gets drunk for some reason and goes crazy in his office and marks her paper an “F” and this starts a fight where they don’t see each other for quite some time. In order to try to win her back he goes to his brother and his friend who works at the bar to come up with a plan. They decide to go and meet her and her friends that night at a club and when they meet he really has to pour it on to get her to listen to him. This is one of the funnier parts of the book. Afterwards he gives her a ride home but does not go upstairs. She shows up a couple days later at his place needing to talk and to explain what has been going on in her life and losing her grandfather, (Pops). This turns out to be a nice evening for them and she spends the night, he makes dinner and takes care of her and they sleep together for the first time without doing anything. This first book comes to a close you are now getting ready for the second story and wanting to know what happens between them. The characters in this book are fun and full of life and the story moves along with ease. I found myself really enjoying this book and could not wait until the second book. A good book. i got this book from net galley.  I give this 5 stars.

ABSOLUTE LOVERS #2

ABSOLUTE LOVERS  #2                                 SJ HOOKS
Posted:  June 22, 2015

Absolute Lovers (Absolute, #2)Professor Stephen Worthington has been schooled in the bedroom by free-spirited student Julia Wilde. But what started as a casual arrangement has turned into so much more—at least for Stephen.

Head over heels, Stephen is tired of being just “sex buddies.” Julia’s resisting, but her blithe attitude towards keeping it casual may just be a front. Can he prove to her that their amazing sexual chemistry can mix with romance and ultimately win her heart?

In this eagerly awaited sequel to S.J. Hooks’ successful first novel, Absolute Beginners, readers will find themselves riding alongside Stephen and Julia’s highs and lows as their friends-with-benefits relationship reaches a crossroads. Absolute Lovers’ humor and romance will tease and delight both dedicated fans and new readers alike.

Absolute Lovers is the final installment in the Absolute Novels series.

This novel contains mature content.
 

HUBBY'S REVIEW:
Julia and Stephen are back and this book opens with them together after the funeral of her grandfather (pops). She is for the most part starting with Stephen at his place and other than a surprise visit by his mom and step father their relationship though neither of them calls it that is going good. They have made up for Stephen’s drunk night when he graded one of her papers wrong. If you have not read the first book Absolute Beginnings, you will find that Julia is 10 years younger and is one of Stephens’s students in his Lit. Class in college. She has been flirting with him and then one night outside of his step brothers sports bar he gives her a ride home and from their they start meeting each other just casually, for her anyway for him he still can’t get her out of his mind. The second book they actually grow together as a couple and during finals he cooks dinner for her and lets her study and use his office. They go on a few trips together over the summer because she now is no longer his student and if they are scene together it is not a big deal. Two things happen that make them come together emotionally more than just the sex part. The first being the annual 4th of July party at his mother’s and stepfather’s house. He has now changed into a more confident man with her and her when she meets one old friend of his that hurt him she takes charge and puts her in her place. They did not see it but as a couple they were stronger and better for each other than either one realized. The next was when he finds out that she was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship and she was going to pass on it but he would not let her. After four months apart her friends come over to tell him they think she is having trouble over in London, not eating or sleeping. He sees it that night and decides to do something about it and it is something he would not have had the courage to do from the beginning of the first book. A fantastic story of two people coming together and giving the other one what they are lacking and becoming a couple with all of the fears of what people are thinking but doing it any way. A good book. i got this book from net galley.  I give this 5 stars.

SEAL TEAM SIX: HUNT THE FOX

SEAL TEAM SIX                           DON MANN & RALPH PEZZULLO
Posted:  June 22, 2015

Hunt the Fox (SEAL Team Six, #5)The heroes of Don Mann and Ralph Pezzullo's acclaimed, hyper-realistic SEAL Team Six series are called to defuse an explosive situation in Syria.
On his way to a meeting with a CIA source in Istanbul, Captain Thomas Crocker notices he's being tailed. He suspects the men tracking his movements are members of Syria's intelligence agency, the Mulhabarat--their presence a sign of the region's increasing volatility.
Syria's government is unraveling, with the alliances between rebel groups increasingly complex, and ISIS dangerously in the mix. Farid al-Kazaz, aka the Fox, leads the most threatening of the ISIS factions. The Fox believes Syrian President Bashar al-Assad ordered the murder of the Fox's brother and has vowed revenge, planning a Sarin gas attack that would wreak havoc across not just Syria, but the entire Middle East. It's up to Crocker and the rest of SEAL Team Six to stop a ruthless killer and keep an explosive plot from detonating.
Against almost impossible odds, it's up to Crocker and the rest of SEAL Team Six to stop a ruthless killer and keep an explosive plot from detonating. Once again, the fate of millions rests on the shoulders of these fearless and ferociously loyal men.
HUBBY'S REVIEW:
This story has Thomas Crocker and his team looking for a man they call the “Fox” really a code name. The story mainly takes place in the Middle East and is full of action from the beginning to the end. Yes men and women get hurt explosions happen and even when you think the story is starting to come the end it picks up again. There are people who are out to make sure that they do not complete their mission and there are people they trust because of the location or country they are in that are not who they say they are and they don’t find out about their real identity until it is almost too late. Crocker is also going back over the counseling sessions he had with his wife before he left on this mission and you get the feeling that there are things he should have told her but he did not and how will that affect him down the road. This is a fast paced and action pact story and if you read his other books you will not be disappointed with this book. A good book. i got this book from net galley.  I give this 4 stars.

                                                                      Back to You #1 Hard Crush HARD CRUSH                                  ...