Curvy Women: Curvy Mom Bullet 3/31/14

Curvy Women

The Actual Difference between Women Who Are Hot and Who Are Beautiful

LIFE • LAUREN MARTIN • FEB 13, 2014 - 2:58PM

Women. We’re curvy, skinny, hood, pretty, cute, ethnic, bad, dime pieces, unicorns, babes, pieces of tail, juicy, fine, sexy, foxes, sultry, voluptuous… The list goes on.
When was the last time you heard a man describe a woman with an adjective that isn’t dripping in sexual innuendos and defaming premises? When was the last time you heard a man describe a woman by something that compliments her soul and her inherent elegance? When was the last time you heard a man describe a woman as beautiful?
There’s been a loss of respect when it comes to admiring women, shifting towards describing us as objects, rather than people. Men look at women as pieces of tail, “things” to be conquered, rather than appreciating women for their individuality.
A large portion of today’s men are momentarily allured by hair extensions, large chests, big bottoms, and stilettos. They think sexuality comes in the form of bronzed skin, bikini waxes, and fake eyelashes. They’ve been programmed to believe that any woman with a sculpted body and perky breasts is attractive.
What about the women who don’t want to indulge in the male fantasy? What about the women who just want to wear comfortable sweaters and flats? What about the women who don’t dress to impress the opposite sex, but instead, to just feel good in their own skin? Isn’t their attractiveness in that? Isn’t there an appeal to that sense of confidence?
When did women become forced to acquiesce to this standard, or otherwise get lost in the crowd? When did getting a man mean painting on layers of makeup and investing in miniskirts?
There is a certain type of man that continually defames women, judging them solely on sex appeal, failing to see the actual grandeur of women. These are the men who don’t understand the concept of natural beauty and uniqueness in flaws.
They don’t recognize that “hotness” doesn’t last past midnight when the makeup has smudged onto the pillow and the hair extensions have been taken out. It doesn’t last when the spray tans have washed away and the tight dresses have come off.
It’s not real; it’s an illusion that’s been forcing women to conform to unhealthy habits for too many years.
It’s time these men are reminded of the difference between hot and beautiful. It’s time men realize that women have more to offer than just a body.
Women are stunning creatures, with assets and traits both unique and enchanting to each one of us, and it’s time we started showcasing our individuality and stop giving in to the illusion of sexy created by man. Because beauty isn’t about wanting to f*ck her; it’s about wanting to be with her.
Hot is admired from afar; beauty is to be held.
Hot is perception; beauty is appreciation.
Hot is smoky-eyed; beautiful is bare-faced.
Hot is an appearance; beautiful is more than skin deep.
Hot is the way she moans; beautiful is the way she speaks.
Hot is a strong appeal; beautiful is a strong mind.
Hot is youthful; beautiful is ageless.
Hot is conventional; beauty is unique.
Hot is a one-night stand; beautiful is sleepless nights.
Hot is a state of being; beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Hot is devious; beautiful is innocent.
Hot is bending her over; beautiful is baking her blueberry pancakes.
Hot is sultry; beautiful is wholesome.
Hot is her curves; beauty is her nerves.
Hot is a text message; beautiful is a love letter.

Hot is a facade; beautiful is a woman.

Char  3/31/14
    As a mother, this scares the hell out of me.  I want my daughter to know that no matter what, that no matter what size, make-up, no make-up, extensions or no extensions, that she is appealing.  That there are men out there that will want to be with her for who she is no matter what.  I don’t want her to be fake it to please anyone but especially to impress others when not impressing herself.  She needs to feel strong, dynamic, proud, powerful, unique, invincible, lovable, kind, and so much more for and to herself.  And then and only then can she and will she even care about a guy, and what he cares about or what he is, is wanting or not wanting from her.  But he should want her for all the things that her dad and I love her for, her, just being her.  No falsehoods or lies, no roles to remember because it is all really real.  Not be worried that something will fall out, hike up, smear, or whatever for she will feel comfortable with her own skin and all that she wears. 
     She is so far ahead of the game compared to where I was at her age and I am so proud of her each and every day.  Not to say that she, like all of us do not have days that are off.  Or that I have not passed down some of my bad habits.  God knows, I am trying so hard to be aware of when I do it, but not berating myself for what I still call flaws.  I don’t even have them physically anymore or at least most of them.  It is just so ingrained I can’t seem to lose the stinkin’ thinkin’.    So as I surf the web I will bring to you what I find.  This article just spoke to me somehow. This is some ways was a little harsher than how I would have put things but I guess that is what the younger gals are finding out there as they are dating.  Since my daughter is only 13 we still have a few years but it is frightening. 
     Today’s discussion with my daughter was, "Do you think it is weird to like a boy again that was kind of mean to me and in the middle of being my boyfriend (at this age is in name only at school, believe me.)  And he was talking to this other girl he knows I don’t like behind my back and gave her the Valentine gift I gave him to her?  I said let’s put it this way. 
     “You would not like your older sister to go back to your niece’s daddy because he is mean and did things behind her back that was not nice.  Do you think it is any different?  Doing something dishonest and behind your back is still not manning up as you say.  So, what do you say?  Would you tell your sister or one of your best friends that it was okay for one of their guy friends to do it to them?”  She shook her head no.  Then I said, “Then why is okay for you to have it done to you?”  Things got really quiet in the car after that which is okay too.  Then I said that might be a good thing for you to talk to your counselor about.  She did agree and we just started singing in the car again.
Wow, another mom bullet avoided for today.  Curvy Mom or not, being a mom is hard.

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